Searching for Atticus

Women at the well

2011-03-28T13:29:00.012-06:00

Here are some excerpts of a homily a good friend had this past week. It says so much by itself that i will stay out of the way. **Also take a look at the video. Happy Lenting: **

The woman points out all the differences between them and expects rejection from him. Jesus responds with “if you knew the gift of God.” He didn’t’ say “I am the gift of God”

Meaning if she knew she was the gift of God, recognized herself as a gift of God, that’s how he saw her, and it was a shared identity.

Today I suggest we all begin at this well to recognize that we are the gift of God, Jesus is the Gift of God Everyone in this church is the gift of god And then we will be ready to ask for living water.

Often the woman is portrayed as if she did something wrong. Most likely in her culture she didn’t have much say in the 5 divorces and we don’t know anything about the current relationship

She was rejected 5 times and currently being rejected by the women who went to the well in the morning instead of at noon.

Rejection X 5 plus 1, or what if all 5 husbands died like my great aunt who married and buried 5 husbands each time with no less pain.

Jesus didn’t judge her but many commentators on this passage pass a lot of judgment. Here are five of the many rejections I have read and heard women speak of:

1. The father/mother says or shows “I was hoping for a boy,” or the son(s) in the family are obviously preferred

2. My brother/father/uncle/neighbor/boss sexually abused me, rape molestation

3. sexism in the work place, church, lower salaries, fewer possibilities for women

4. I thought I married for a partnership, an equal relationship, now I am controlled by my husbands anger/addiction/jealousy

5. women and children are the most vulnerable in times of war and national disaster What is the drink of living water Jesus gave the woman?

Love, acceptance, He told her everything she ever did, meaning he knew everything about her and still accepted her.

What will we do when someone asks us for a drink of water? Give them live giving water?

Who will we ask to give us a drink of water, so we will know the gift of God that we are.. Yes, God is with us, and the rejection is not everyting.

We can be healed, loved and have hope, from the one who knows everything about us And from the ones around us who give us that same drink of living water, that we in turn give to others

Women at the Well video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFZgvKNWDcw&feature=player_embedded

Tornados and Songs

2010-07-06T18:28:00.003-06:00

Sitting in the basement waiting out a tornado warning.

There has been stress in my life the past few weeks having mostly to do with work. The slow economy and perhaps some bad business decisions have made times rather tenuous. I try to listen to scripture about the birds of the air and the flowers of the field and sometimes it helps, but in the wee hours of night the doubt and fear creeps in and I forget.

On my work computer is a song by Michael Card titled "Basin and the Towel" The songs chorus says:
And the call is to community,
The impoverished power that sets the soul free.
In humility, to take the vow,that day after day we must take up the basin and the towel.

As I listened today I was reminded of the "community" I have around me all the time. Family, friends and of course my lover, Pat. I had a sense that what the call for me to do is accept the situation, and wash the feet of my fears. I hope this will allow me to own them and not them owning me.

So in the wee hours of night, you may hear me pouring water into a basin and looking for..... I am not sure what exactly, but I will bow to them, wash what ever I can feel and go back to sleep.

Tornado warning lifted.......

Whew!!

2010-06-28T13:35:00.004-06:00

For the past few months I have been hobbling around, running, doing, directing and trying to stay ahead of all I thought I had to do get done.

The year started out in July of last year when I had a hip replaced because of arthritis. After that arthritis in my lower back was causing problems. Made it hard to walk any distance at all and so I sat but was still busy.

Directing Higher Ground then consumed my life. There were staff to assign and participants to register. Sights had to be finalized and parent phone calls and so many e-mails I lost count.

I put aside many of the things that help my spiritual life to flourish I quit reading for enjoyment, didn't take time to write and even put my guitar in the closet and forgot it was there.

And now that It has slowed down, and I have time to reflect, I am discouraged at all the things I missed as I ran to and fro, back and forth and up and down.

Higher Ground was awesome, all the kids that were suppose to be there were.......my back has improved enough that I can walk for 90 minutes and not be in pain. I am reading the Rule of St Benedict and trying to write a least a few lines.

Tonight I am going to a T-Ball game my grandson is in. Last night I sat with family and had a beer. I went to Mass and listened, really listened to Art's wonderful homily.

I am hoping I learn the lesson that the last months carry. I will play golf and work in the yard. I will play my guitar for no other reason than that I can.

I will also listen to the wind, the Chi, the Ruah, the little voice of God that has always whispered....slow down.

Lent Lesson 2010

2010-03-16T20:26:00.005-06:00

At stations of the cross last week, the young people at our parish presented Living Stations. Using a large screen, back lighting and sound effects, shadow images of the Christ's walk to Golgotha appear larger than life size.

This year the kids used station readings from the point of view of a migrant in the United States. I was not ready for what they taught me however...

A few parishioners do not think the Living Stations are "catholic" enough. Also, migrants take the money they earn back to Mexico with them and on and on. I however am a forward thinking individual who has the plight of the Mexican migrant in my heart and blah, blah blah...........

During the presentation of the stations and really listening to the readings, I was struck with the fact that they said nothing of migrants from Mexico. The readings could have fit any of the peoples who have tried to make a better life here and found bigotry and hatred. I was forced to face my own prejudice and self righteousness.

I am going to have to sit with this a while longer as I do when I realize truth. Lent has had a surprise for me every year for a long time now. Some pleasant and some that shake the comfortable place where I have been sitting.

Dying to know you better

2009-11-11T18:18:00.003-07:00

A dear friend of mine is dying of cancer. The disease is going to kill Lisa, and there is nothing to do but pray I suppose. I am sad and I am angry that she will soon be gone.

I met Lisa in 1992. I was starting my job as a youth minister for our parish. Lisa was the diocesan youth director and was making the rounds to meet those of us in the "trenches."

My first impression was that of a young, and somewhat scatter brained lady. As we talked though it was evident that she was smart, articulate and committed to bringing the Gospel to young people, it was and is her vocation. After we talked for a while she commented that it was nice to talk to someone "who got it." I too have a love of working with young people so we immediately had a connection.

Over the years she and I worked together on many youth ministry events. One of my proudest moments was when she asked me and another youth minister to critique a Jr High Retreat she was publishing. It is still the only time I have been mentioned in a forward of a book. Lisa has written too many books on youth ministry to mention. Her retreats and courses are still being used all over the US to this day.

Anyway, Lisa is dying. I am sad and angry. Lisa? She is upbeat and ready. She named her Caring Bridge Site "Dying To Know You" So my anger and sadness needs to be short lived. I have learned much over the years from Lisa and now I am seeing how peaceful and grace-filled you can be when you are convinced that the future still has a place for you.

Lisa I love you, I will miss you, and yet I will be sad and angry, for that I apologize.

2009-09-13T20:59:00.005-06:00

This is south of Sidney about 10 miles. It is the Peetz Colorado Wind Farm.

The farm is the second largest in the USA and stretches for 45 miles.

In the 1960's, deep well oil brought money to northest Colorado...now wind.

I am looking for a title to this picture, let me know what you think.......

2009-08-21T08:56:00.002-06:00

Three weeks ago I had my right hip replaced with one of those fancy new titanium ones due to arthritis.

It has been quite an experience. Not only did it require I face my mortality it also reminded me how I hate to ask for help.

In the hospital I was, for the first hours anyway, dependant on the nursing staff.

It has also required me to summon any patience I have, and that is one thing I lack. I am told my recovery is on track but I still want it to go faster.

I am back at work. I never realized how many times a day I get up and down from my desk. I am on crutches but bear about 80% of my weight, which is truly amazing when I think about it.

Anyway, the lessons keep coming, some I get some I don't. So things are getting back to normal!

Time Passes

2009-06-17T20:14:00.004-06:00

Two influential people in my life, for different reasons,

mark the passing of time for me this week

Bob Bogle, lead guitarist for the 60's rock band the Ventures died this week after a battle with cancer.

I spent hours in my bed room with an old Yamaha guitar and a little record player trying to follow his licks on such classics as "Walk Don't Run" and "Wipeout". I played until my fingers were sore, and actually got pretty good. I can still punch out most of Walk Don't Run, although my fingers are much slower than they use to be.

Secondly and most important, Aunt Wilma will turn 101 years old in August. She is here with my older sister Margaret when she made a trip to Idaho to see her last week.

Aunt Wilma has been my favorite aunt since I was just a little kid. I remember writing letters to her and always getting a response quickly about the goings on in the Kendall family. She was my moms sister and visited once a year from California. And once we visited her and got to go to Disney Land and Knotts Berry Farm.

One of my most treasured memories of Aunt Wilma was at a drive in movie. Mom and her in the front seat and Russ and I in the back, I leaned my head in between her and mom and Aunt Wilma reached up and rubbed my neck while we watched. My family for some reason didn't touch much, so the tactile show of affection from Aunt Wilma was heavenly.Still today I can imagine her hand on my neck.

It is said that boys look for a wife like their mothers. My mom and I had a stormy relationship up until the time I was her primary caregiver for a year. I was glad we had the chance to work past some of the hurts and frustrations we had with each other in the end. But I looked for and found a mate with the traits of my beloved Wilma when I fell in love with Pat. What a joy!

Aunt Wilma is in the final stages of her life now. She doesn't recognize many people and she is confined to a wheel chair. But she is still grace-filled, loving and warm. Thank you aunt Wilma!

i heart garrison

2009-05-15T21:57:00.006-06:00

Most mornings on the way to work I listen to Garrison Keelers' "Writers Almanac"
I harbor a fantasy of hearing Mr. Keeler say my name.......

"jack mertz- born april 16th, 1954, first wrote for his elementary school newspaper in 1963. A riveting tale about a talking school building and how the naughty kids wrote on it and the good kids picked up trash. he read to kill a mockingbird in 1967 and decided that harper lee had said enough, gave up writing stories decided to find a wife, have four lovely daughters and live in a small nebraska town and write poetry"

here are three poems by jack mertz:

Today is finished
Tomorrow is an eternity away
Now keeps ending
Yesterday has no gist
And I’m being followed by a moon shadow……………….

There once was a girl name penelope
And her watch was quite free with it’s “times to be”
She’d spend most her days
face down in the hay
‘cause time made her late for her “wants to be”

by the numbers.
nine ninety one locust place
one thousand square feet of home
second bedroom on the left was safe
third bedroom on the right was off limits….
especially when the door was closed
five hundred and twenty four people before me
one hundred thousand people after me
two dogs and one alley to explore
eddie, jimmy, jackie, and debbie
tag along rusty and a starlet named jane
one cherry bomb in the bird bath
one block party in august
two broken hearts in october
nine ninety one locust place

poems by jack mertz, published in his mind and used with permission here on the writers almanac.

be well
do good works
and keep in touch!

I am Bi-Polar Therefore I am!

2009-03-02T20:38:00.005-07:00

this is my next tattoo and it celebrates my final acceptance of this gift.

however it does not keep me from being bi-polar.

for the past 3-4 months i have been on the down side of the picture. it has been a quiet in the back ground sort of place. very few people will have known. even me for a while.

pat of course sees it first, tries to gently remind me where i am, and keeps watch when i put her off with the obligatory "i'm ok".

well, i think that is enough to quench my need to write about this, except to say i really am feeling better in my head space.

had i not been i wouldn't have written this

the awesome wisdom of the universe

2009-02-08T21:27:00.013-07:00

At confirmation class this past Wednesday, the young men in the group and I were sharing visions of God. I was not surprised to hear the male pronouns. I have tried to introduce the femininity of God but the parental and institutional church has much more influence than I.

I pointed out to the guys that they were addressing God as masculine and asked them why. Their response also was not surprising to me and all of them agreed it was because males are the more dominant of the sexes. I wonder why I am supposed to hear this?

Driving along a two-lane road headed east a few weeks ago, the sun was bright and I could see the horizon in every direction I looked.

The Nebraska prairies allow this vista quite often if you take time to look. I mean you could see so far to the north and south that the gentle curve of our earth was apparent. It was the sort of vista that I am sure inspired many songs and stories of mother earth and grandfather sky by the Ogallala Sioux and other first peoples of the area.

I was reminded of the wisdom and beauty of a friend who has left earth. Her wisdom and gentleness even after her death are still touching people.

Jackson Adam Hollingshead, who from this day on will be called Jack in honor of his grandfather, was born on February 7, 2009. The 93rd anniversary of his great grandfather Lyman Mertzs' birthday.

The universe is awesome!!!

Timmy, Dougie and Jackie II

2009-01-04T16:34:00.008-07:00

Tim, Doug and Jack will be together again and spending time on this deck over looking Table Rock Lake just east of Branson Missouri. Here is my post of our last meeting.

New this year will be the inclusion of the Lovely Sue and the vivacious Pat. Sue is soul mate of Tim and Pat of course is my best friend. Doug is unattached right now.

We will be in Branson in September of this year. When we get together on the phone we're like school kids waiting for summer vacation.

One of the really cool things about this meet is Tim and I being accompanied by our spouses. Pat and I were already married when I first met Doug and Tim. So Pat has been part of the group for as long as I have . I suppose in many ways we boys were very sexist. Pat cooked meals for us, sewed our football coaches jackets (which Tim still has and can wear!) and generally suffered three noisy and often obnoxious three year olds who shaved...... This will be the first time all four us to be together since Christmas 1978.

Another interesting ingredient will be how Sue and Doug get along. How can I describe Doug? Do you remember Drisco Darling from the old "Andy Griffith" show? Brash, opinionated, somewhere right of Rush Limbaugh. Doug never had an emotion he kept inside. Fiercely loyal, a tremendous friend and........just a little to much for Sue.

Tim and Sue got together about ten years ago with Doug. Sue and he immediately disliked each other. We have gotten use to Doug over the years and love him for who he is. This could be fun. Neither Sue or Doug will back down, but both have agreed to be civil, and then of course there is our favorite buffer zone, Pat, who I am sure will get along great with Sue.

So the saga continues. Part of who I am is wrapped up in being friends with Doug and Tim. I have learned much from both. Our version of the rat pack is 35 years old. Reality sets in when you realize that we have had more years together than we have left..and that is why we will journey to Table Rock Lake!

still more stuff

2008-12-11T11:29:00.001-07:00

cleveland is a cool city

i use to blame my prejudices on my dad’s influence. i suppose i really can’t do that any more

54 can be a bad age if you are 53, it is a great age if you are planning on being 55

moralistic therapeutic deism is a sad reality

“Religion is more of a choice than homosexuality”—thanks jon stewart

how did I ever get along without text messaging?

Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming!

You cannot walk with the holy if you’re just a halfway decent man—paul simon

Has the dawning of the age of Aquarius gone to evening yet?

A mind is a beautiful thing to waste. Evidently my waist is a bad thing to mind

Some More Stuff

2008-11-26T23:36:00.003-07:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Just a few more hours and the turkey goes in the oven. That is all my responsibility this year. Stephanie Jean will do most of the cooking. I am a little sad about that to tell the truth.........

Stephanie Jean is back this year and I am absolutely ecstatic about that............

We are going to Cleveland next week. I hate to fly but I love to travel. Pat and I think it would be cool to travel by train............

Jennie, David, Little David, Stephanie, Katilyn, Michael, Matthew, Michelle, Adam and Ellie will be here tomorrow. I love my family. Sarah Marie is in Alaska, I miss her very much.......

A note pad hangs on the side of our computer via magnet. It's one of those you get when you give money to an organization as a thank you. This one is from the Humane Society. Across the top it says: To Do List. Under that is: Mrs. Pat Mertz. I certainly agree...........

Just some stuff

2008-11-23T21:42:00.004-07:00

if god is mystery, then everything we believe we know about god is wrong

some people like canned spaghetti for thanksgiving

e e cummings must have had a broken shift button

i scored 18% on a genius quiz

texting on your phone is silly

some young people see laying on of hands as a superior-inferior positioning

texting on your phone is addictive

lol

Mr President

2008-11-04T22:44:00.000-07:00

Just in case you missed it! (Yea!!!!)

Things done right

2008-10-28T20:27:00.002-06:00

In the midst of all the political rhetoric, sparring, empty promises and bull-shit, here is something to celebrate. Click here to read some good stuff

Thanks Julie!!!!!!

Matthew Adam

2008-10-06T20:44:00.006-06:00

When I was much younger I can remember looking at my grandad Mertz's hands. We called him Bakke (baa-key) for some reason, no one seems to know why any longer, but he had the coolest hands.

The were big compared to mine at the time, short wide fingers with gnarled nails. I can still see the veins that crossed along the back looking much like a road map.

Liver spots had started, but not many, and his palms were rough and scratchy when he'd rub our cheeks or rustle our hair. Bakke was a tool and die maker, a lathe operator, and the years of turning steel into intricate parts and pieces molded and scarred his hands.

But by far the coolest thing on, or should I say was not on, his left hand. Bakke was missing his thumb. There was a little stump where there had been one. The digit was gone but grandpa filled it's space with wonderful and funny stories.

The first I remember involved ice fishing in Iowa with no rod or reel. Making your thumb look like a worm in freezing water was a skill he would teach us when we were older. Bakke even had the head of great Northern Pike mounted on the wall that was supposedly the culprit. "He got my thumb, but he made a tasty dinner!"

My grandmother Hazel was the butt of many of the jokes. Grandma was very proper and totally deaf. Bakke would stand behind her and hold his stump to his nose and pretend he was digging very deep into his nostril. Rusty and I would laugh so hard we cried and grandma would just cluck and go back to her knitting.

After we were older and Bakke died we found that he had lost it an accident at work. A large piece of equipment had neatly sliced it away. The family legend is that grandpa was back to work after a couple of days. Never missed a beat, uncle Don would say, and everybody would nod in assent.

Bakkes hands never fired a gun against an enemy. During World War One they told him to stay home and create those wonderful parts and pieces to help the war effort. World War Two came and he had to shake the hand of a son who was leaving for Europe. In 1960 his hands held mine as he steered them along a wood lathe and like magic a table leg appeared.

I was rocking Matthew Adam this evening. Matt is our newest Grand baby. His tiny, smooth flawless hands laid across mine and the comparison is striking. When did I get grandpa hands? How did this happen? While not known as Bakke I am loved as Papa.

What lies ahead for Matt and what will his hands say when he is my age? What do mine say about me? If there is any wisdom in the shape and texture of my hands that I can leave to him, it might be this:

Never play with your dad's knife, and when you do cut your thumb, tell him right away. Even though you know he will be angry, he will dress your wound and giggle softly to himself and send you out to play.

Find an instrument that sings to your heart and play until your hands hurt. Play for the sheer joy and mystery of it. Resist the ones who say your song cannot be part of the universe's chorus, and tightly embrace those who sing a-long!

There will be times when your hands will do violence, guard against these and learn from your prejudices. Ask for forgiveness and be ready to forgive.

There will be scars that remind you of dark places you ventured to in fear and hopelessness, rejoice and applaud crazily because you returned.

Find a lover and caress them tenderly as many times as you can. Learn their body and soul with your finger tips and palms...this I guarantee will teach you far more then you can imagine.

Ah well Matthew, there are some of Papa's encounters with world. I will touch and caress you as long as you will let me, and then I will do it anyway. It's a Papa's duty!

Re-Creating!

2008-08-28T08:53:00.004-06:00

Pat and I are off to the mountains of Wyoming for some re-creating and much needed couple only time.

Busy-ness has become a habit I am having a difficult time breaking. Perhaps this will lead to more time spent reflecting and spending time doing those things that re-charge me.

Having Pat all to myself for 4 days sounds and is clingy. But I am going to relish the hours together and jealously guard my time with her!

Blogging about not Blogging

2008-08-01T10:48:00.002-06:00

Where has the Spring and Summer gone?

I filled up almost every corner of my life.

I need to take time to reflect and respond to all that has happened.

A friend of mine once asked whose handwriting was in my calender when I was complaining about being to busy........

We are going to listen to Richard Rohr tomorrow.
Perhaps he will have some suggestions. Perhaps not.
It's not really his job to do that is it?

Higher Ground

2008-05-23T11:05:00.004-06:00

Dear Friends,

I will be gone for the next week at Higher Ground. The week has 21 young people and 10 staff. We will explore what the Gospel message is.

Life Lines, Family relationships, the Hunger Meal of rice and beans, Symbols, prayer in many forms, forgiveness and the Eucharist are a few of the paths we will walk down.

Please pray for us..........

The Trinity art was found here: Australian EJournal of Theology. I do not have the artists' permission. But I found it a fascinating symbol.

Pat and bathroom repairs. A metaphor

2008-05-12T19:47:00.003-06:00

I am not a handy person. I have a few basic skills, can run a power saw and can usually hammer a nail. Nevertheless I am not, by any definition a handy man.

Two weekends ago, a small, seemingly harmless shower valve repair declined into a full-blown remodel of the aforementioned shower. Along with a new valve and a new tub surround, there was pulling off and replacing drywall, using a propane torch, and every available ounce of patience I could muster.

Compounding my lack of handyman-ness is the fact that our old house has not one straight wall or 90 degree angle. Not only do you have to be able to apply everything you have every seen on the Home and Garden Network, you have to be able to make changes on the fly. A smidge here, a fudge there, a burned finger and contact cement in your hair.

I do complete my task, albeit not according to the instructions. There it is, the new valve, shiny new nozzle and fast running hot and cold water. It is a beautiful sight to see. That is if you look right in the middle and not at the edges and corners. Gaps, unevenness and small off kilter edges abound everywhere.

My work here is done!

The lovely Patricia spends the next 2-3 days with a caulk gun, scraper and a gallon of new paint. She works magic smoothing out the corners, sealing the gaps and cleaning up the mess that was wrought by her less then versatile carpenter/plumber mate.

It’s a wonder to behold what she does with her patience and attention to detail. Caulk and paint in her hands are the brush and palette. My effort, the canvas. We are well suited for each other.

Now for the metaphor. Over the past 35 years that Pat and I have been exclusively linked, this is how a major part of our lives have unfolded. Her smoothing out the rough edges of our life and thankfully of me. Patiently waiting until I am done ranting and raving, then suggesting another way of dealing with a situation.

Looking around at the world and trying to find the gentlest way to accomplish something. One of her personal mottos is “Tread Lightly on the Earth”.

I have tried many times to put words in to a proper order that would speak to the way I feel about this truly remarkable lady, who is my lover and my friend. Every time I come up short of my expectations of what I want to really say.

Here is as close as I can come this time.

James Taylor wrote a song that in part says this:

Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning,
And I find myself careening Into places where I should not let me go.
-- she has the power to go where no one else can find me,
Yes, and to silently remind me
Of the happiness and good times that I know,

If Im well you can tell that shes been with me now,
And shes been with me now
Quite a long, Long Time -
Yes, and I feel fine.

Yeah, I feel fine………..

Spring Has Sprung!

2008-05-02T08:43:00.003-06:00

Sidney Nebraska in the spring.

All roads, schools and many businesses are closed.

Tomorrow 55 degrees.

Spring time on the high plains!

The Box by Kendrew Lascelles

2008-04-23T20:00:00.002-06:00

I heard this 35 years ago read by John Denver. It's what I did for the anti war effort..... listened to poems.........

tonight I looked for these words so i could put them here and feel good about opposing another war.........

35 years.... and i still listen to poems and believe i am making a difference

shit.........

“THE BOX” by Kendrew Lascelles

Once upon a time
in the land of hush-a-bye,
around the wonderous days of yore,
They came across a sort of boxBound up with chains
and locked with locks
And labeled,
`Kindly do not touch, it's war.'

A decree was issue round about --
All with a flourish and a shout
And a gaily coloured mascot
Tripping lightly on before --
`Don't fiddle with that deadly box
or break the chains or pick the locks
And please don't ever mess
about with war.'

Well the children understood,
Children happen to be good
And were just as good
around the time of yore.
They didn't try to pick the locks
Or break into that deadly box
And never tried to play about with war.

Mommies didn't either
Sisters, Aunts nor Grannies neither
`Cos they were quiet
and sweet and pretty
In those wonderous days of yore,
Well very much the same as now
And not the ones to blame somehow
For opening up that deadly box of war,

But someone did,

Someone battered in the lid
And spilled the insides out
across the floor,
A sort of bouncy bumpy ball
made up of flags and guns and all
The tears and horror and the death
That goes with war.

It bounced right out
And went bashing all about
And bumping into everything in store
And what is sad and most unfair
was that it didn't really seem to care
Much who it bumped, or why,
Or what, or for.

It bumped the children mainly
And I'll tell you this quite plainly,
It bumps them everyday and more and more
And leaves them dead and burned and dyingThousands of them sick and crying,
`Cos when it bumps its very very sore.

There is a way to stop the ball,
It isn't very hard at all,
All it takes is wisdom
And I'm absolutely sure
We could get it back into the box
And bind the chains and lock the locks
But no one seems to want to save the children anymore.

Well that's the way it all appears
`Cos it's been bouncing
around for years and years
In spite of all the wisdom wizzed
Since those wonderous days of yore,
And the time they cam across that box
Bound up with chains
and locked with locks
And labeled,
`Kindly do not touch, it's war.'

HIGHER GROUND IS COMING!!!

2008-04-09T20:47:00.004-06:00

Higher Ground Is Coming! As I feverishly try to have file boxes ready for next weeks staff training, I am once again reminded how much I love Higher Ground.

Every year something or someone (usually both) touch my heart and remind me why I love young people.

Last year it was the tenderness and love the participants showed to Bryan T.

Bryan can be difficult. He has suffered many times over what a person should have to endure, still he can be difficult. But the young people who attended HGII Week One last year showed him what it means to be loved, and Bryan needs all that he can get.

His parents (who love him unconditionally) always remark how much Bryan gets from HG.

When we gather at Fort Rob, Camp Comeca or Camp Norwesca, Jesus comes along. We laugh, cry and learn to be better persons, and we try to follow the Gospel call to Love.

So here's to this year at HG! Are you ready Jesus?

Dis-jointed Lenten Musings

2008-03-19T21:49:00.004-06:00

I was struck with these words during the yearly trudge through the Passion reading on Palm Sunday....

"and they laid hands on him........"

It occurred to me that these words are most often heard in reference to healing, ordinations and confirmations.

Was this the point where Jesus received his ordination to Godliness?

I will probably not attend the Good Friday services again this year. It makes me uncomfortable. That the Christian Myth has to have a violent act at it's core to make us pay attention, has always caused me to reflect on the absurdity of humanity. I suppose in that respect the lesson has worked.

Tom doesn't drink beer during lent, except on Sundays.

Joe has cancer, I don't know what to do for him. I love Joe, but I will probably never say that to him.

There are times I agree with the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. But I probably won't say that anywhere but here.

The Old Testament is vastly more complex and entertaining then I ever imagined.

I hope Easter takes this year.

Pace bene!

Lent 2008

2008-02-23T20:33:00.004-07:00

In Kearney this weekend I attended a Liturgy workshop by Fr Roc O'Conner SJ. The focus was suppose to be music for the Triduum, however Roc took us many other places.

One very special place for me was the tradition of foot washing during the Thursday liturgies of Holy week.

We were asked to list the reasons why we would not want to have our feet washed. Smelly feet, ugly feet, embarrassed by touch were a few of the answers we voiced.

Many of us were quick to point out that we would much rather be the washer than the washed. We want to serve, it is what we have been called to do as Christians.

O'Conner opined that perhaps the act of washing was easier because being a servant puts me in the seat of power. In control of what and how much is or is not done. And that the submission of being taken care of is way to intimate and vulnerable.

How often have I thought that I am in the power position when taking care of someone else? When I bring a Christmas basket to a family who has none, am I only focused on the charity I am dispensing? Am I patting myself on the back and counting the stars in my heavenly crown for a corporal act of mercy? Have I ever thought of how my largess looks to the one receiving my little gift? Is not the receiver the one who has opened themselves intimately to me to accept a needed gift? Have I ever counted the grace that is available to me for the privilege of helping?

I am drawn to an image of an elderly lady in a nursing home being bathed. Not in the relaxing confines of a private bathroom, but in a brightly lit institutional space with little privacy or ambiance.

Not able to step into the water, but craned with a sling into a stainless steel tub. No bubble bath, no candles, nothing to read, no wine to drink or television to watch.

Naked and exposed, unable to even to wash herself she allows me to participate in her submission to a body that won't work anymore. All the while with the grace and dignity of one who understands that there is so much more to living, dying and rising than dirty, smelly, ugly feet.

Thank you mom for showing me the need to have my feet washed. I love you.........

Fool me once......

2008-01-25T15:34:00.001-07:00

I am so confused right now............isn't the stimulus package that is being touted as the savior of our economy a really bad idea?

I am a bit ignorant about US economics. But here is my experience, perhaps it was yours also.

In 2001, Pat and I received a rebate check in the amount of $600 dollars. We dutifully did our part to spur the flagging economy onward. I guess it worked as the US in still in business.

However in 2002, the IRS added it back as a tax liability. We had to send the entire amount back.

Here is my understanding of "rebate"-

1.a return of part of the original payment for some service or merchandise; partial refund. –verb (used with object)
2.to allow as a discount.
3.to deduct (a certain amount), as from a total.
4.to return (part of an original payment

So this rebate is actually a loan of sorts or "prebate" if you will. Much like borrowing cash by using a credit card.

Isn't this unfair to the working middle class who may believe that this is "found money"?

Why isn't anything being said about this?

Or am I wrong?

The Power of Sorry

2008-01-04T15:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a poignant and thought provoking read from
"Whispers in the Loggia" link

What Would Atticus Do?

2007-12-27T14:00:00.001-07:00

Here is one of my Christmas gifts this year. Atticus Finch for President in 2008. Most Excellent!

I also recieved a large mug with the words "What Would Atticus Do?" Thank You Michelle, Adam and Ellie.

In my own defense....I had just awoken from a great nap when the picture was taken.

Pat and I are always appreciative of the gifts we receive, but more importantly, we are genuinely touched by the thought that our daughters and spouses put into them. The Atticus items, using Fair Trade products and even a huge bag of health foods!

Pat and I were gifted with slipper socks this year. (Thanks Jen,David and Dave) For many years we always bought them for the kids. One year we not only found them for all the girls but all our son-in-laws and grand kids. This year and last we could not find them during our forages for the perfect gifts. However knowing that the tradition was honored was one of those little moments that is life affirming.

Sarah and Stephanie were unable to be with us this year...that is of course sad...we miss them both and think of them everyday. I Love my family!

In the words of Dave...."this was the best Christmas ever!!!"

Heavy Sigh

2007-12-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

Blogging has been elusive in the past few weeks. I am trying hard to find the perfect piece of information and then write something profound and wise.

Evidently, at the moment anyway, profundity and wisdom are vacationing in some far off tropical place.

This advent has been busy. The season is more than half completed (half full or half empty?). Most of the Christmas gifts are bought, plans have been made and anticipation for “the” day has begun in earnest.

Choir practice is over…..the music as it is will just have to suffice.

I have enjoyed seeing George C. Scott portray Scrooge two and a half times.

“It’s A Wonderful Life” has yet to be seen. I am ever hopeful (advent?) that I will see it at least once. I will watch it as many times as possible and then run around the house ringing every bell I see………….another angel!!

I have never watched the story about the kid and the air rifle, much to the horror of family and friends. I have seen bits and pieces over the years. I do like the leg lamp and would be happy to purchase one if I could find it.

Memories are invoked. Melancholy or Joy attaches in random ways. I have learned to just go with whatever emotion shows it self.

I do love Christmas, but the time between Thanksgiving and now has been different somehow. I am not giddy or depressed. Both of which, in years past, I have been prone to in varying degrees. Now I am just waiting.

Perhaps this year I understand a little more about adventing.

Then again, maybe not.

Sigh……………………………..

Let it Snow!

2007-12-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

This is the Nebraska panhandle, I am already tired of snow and winter is still a week away.

What a winter weenie I have become!

OUCH!!!

2007-12-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

First a charging tiger and now a biting sting ray.

At an aquarium in Denver, I was feeding the sting rays along with other kids, evidently my hand tasted the best.......

Meanwhile, Ellie tickles a sharks tummy and does not lose fingers......

ah well it was a fun day.

I have been lacking in posts lately, I could blame a number of reasons........but I won't.

Happy Adventing!

Welcome Home Daddy!!

2007-11-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks giving was extra special this year as Ellie had her daddy home!

It was good to have Adam in the house again, even though a tooth-ache kept him from eating much turkey.

Happy Halloween (late) & Welcome Fall!

2007-11-01T11:43:00.000-06:00

Pastoral Letter: Columbia River Watershed

2007-10-31T08:43:00.000-06:00

The Columbia River Watershed: Caring for Creation and the Common Good
An International Pastoral Letter by the Catholic Bishops of the Watershed Region.

During our LIMEX course we were asked to read this document as part of our course on Practical Theology. Here is the link . It is a .pdf file.

I sometimes take to task the hierarchy of the/my church, so here is some time for the good that those in leadership attempt.

Some of the language could have been more forceful, and a few of the statements I disagreed with.

However I think Atticus would be happy.

Grumpy is as Grumpy does Mama always says....

2007-10-24T13:26:00.000-06:00

I am Grumpy today....

I am going golfing

The most I expect is that I will be a grumpy golfer.

Some days are like that.........

Center for Action and Contemplation

2007-10-19T09:14:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite daily reads comes from:

Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation. (the title is a link where you can subscribe to the daily meditations)

This one spoke to me especially today in many different ways.

Outlaws and Outcasts
Why are we afraid of mentally and physically disabled people? What is it that happens in us when we’re in front of the homeless? What is it that happens to us when we’re close to people of another ethnic group who don’t use our language or jargon? What is it that happens to us when we hear of refugees coming into our cities; when we’re in the presence of an addicted person, a homosexual, a prisoner, or any person who’s failed in our social or economic success system? Why is it that we surround ourselves with other white, middle-class American Catholics? Why do all the others threaten us?

The Lord, in his goodness, offers us a blessing. And many are beginning to recognize it. I think the little ones of this world represent what we are most afraid of within ourselves. We need to embrace them even more than they need to be embraced. As Umberto Eco says in The Name of the Rose, “The people of God cannot be changed until the outcasts are restored to its body.”
from Embracing Christ As Francis Did: In the Church of the Poor

Center for Action and Contemplation http://www.cacradicalgrace.org/
PO Box 12464, Albuquerque, NM 87195-2464

questions without answers

2007-10-10T21:53:00.000-06:00

what was the pain?

the pain was enormous and all encompassing,

but born from what?

an unkind word, a misplaced affection,

or a desire to different?

does it happen all to often,

or are we blessed it doesn't happen more?

will it happen again?

yes

Caught in the Act!

2007-10-10T15:28:00.000-06:00

So I was caught by a gentle reader of this blog in a purposeful deception.

This person noticed my picture in a recent post seemed to have to much hair....Mea Culpa!

As penance, I offer the un-retouched picture.

Maine Troop Greeters

2007-10-08T13:44:00.000-06:00

Here is Adam in the Bangor Maine Airport shortly after landing on US soil. I wonder who he's on the phone with?

Maine Troop Greeters (link) are a volunteer group who welcome home service women/men and then post pictures up on their web site.

Back Home Again!

2007-10-08T09:58:00.001-06:00

Pat (on the right) and I are happy to announce that Adam and his unit are back on US soil. Arrival In Sidney should be the 12th or 13th!!!

On Their Way!

2007-10-04T10:31:00.000-06:00

The folks of the 1074th Truck Company are now in Kuwait. They are processing to come home. They should be back in Sidney within 10 days to two weeks!

In the News 9-20-2007

2007-09-20T09:59:00.000-06:00

On the right side of page one, the Sidney Sun Telegraph reads

“They’re Coming Home!”

NPR ran the story of attempts to increase time between soldier’s

re-deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. Here is that link.

They’re Coming Home!
Flags, Banners, sirens and waves!
People lined streets, speeches and praise.
They’re Coming Home!

They’re Home!
Reunion, remembering, dancing, rejoicing!
Catching up, catching rays and catching zzz’s !
They’re Home!

They’re Home
Bills to pay, yards to mow, snow to scoop.
Kids that scream, faucets that drip and jobs that suck
They’re Home

They’re Home
Refuse the regret and wave the flag
Nightmares and dreams and PTSD
They’re Home

They’re going again
Oh Fuck, goddamn and deepest fears
God’s speed, Good luck and Come home tears,
They’re going again

Getting closer!

2007-09-16T18:58:00.000-06:00

Adam and his crew have turned their Hum-Vee back to the motor pool and have accomplished their last mission. They will spend the next couple of weeks training their replacements.

They will be in Sidney between the 9 and 13th of October.

Skool daze!

2007-09-10T16:14:00.000-06:00

After almost 33 years of marriage, Pat and I are finally going to attend school together.

We start LIMEX tonight and I'm going to ask her to wear my class ring and letter jacket!

Hope she says yes.

PTSD and Homecomings

2007-09-06T21:57:00.000-06:00

We attended a support group meeting at he Sidney Armory last night. Final details for the anticipated arrival of the 1074th Truck Company are being made as the folks should be home by the 13th of October.

Dr. Naseem, from the VA hospital in Lincoln, was on hand to discuss the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He was very informative and compassionate in his presentation. I think it good that we have as much information as we can get in order to help the soldiers and loved ones make as easy a transition as is possible.

I am glad that Adam will be home soon. My granddaughter needs her dad, he and Shelly need to be together, and yes, I want him back in my life.

So we wait joyfully for their return. We will celebrate the homecoming by feasting on the fatted calf and sing the praises of their heroism, honor and sacrifice.

I am ashamed that I find it hard to think of the men and women who will be there in place of my loved one. I hope I will not forget them in my revelry.

We have to end this war.........

life lessons from golf

2007-08-29T20:03:00.000-06:00

**WARNING** What follows is mostly true. However it's not likely to stand up in a court of law, nor public opinion for that matter. Sometimes I like to be silly!

My golf coach and mentor has recently been placed on injured reserve for a few months, so I have been reading and experimenting with my grip, stance and clubs. I hope I do no real harm before he gets back into the swing of things. ( I am allowed one pun, it's in the blog handbook!) He said he was sorry to miss my formative days as a golfer. Don't worry Jim, my "forming" will still be in the infant stages when you can return. I am getting better, however it's like watching an iceberg melt; it is happening but it is slow.

There was the time when all existence in the cosmos gathered into one place. The very fabric of the space time continuum split and allowed for this mere mortal to become, dare I say it, a golf god!

I had never used the three iron. Shoot, I'd never lifted it out of the bag. But there it was calling seductively to me....jack..jack.. I looked around to see if anyone was watching and listened again. The wind was a soft whisper, my soft brown hair rustled by it's movement (poetic license dammit!) and again I heard the sirens call...jack...jack, use me, I won't disappoint.

Jim had never mentioned this part of the game, but hey, I like weird stuff, so i reached for the club. Static electricity sparked from the number three to my thumb, it was warm as I wrapped my fingers lovingly about the blade and pulled it, no her, from the bag.

I caressed the hand grip as I laced my fingers into a sensual grip of wanton abandoned, and addressed the ball at my feet.

The stroke was unhurried and smooth. My concentration was myopic, and number three whistled now as she approached the sphere. I saw the exact moment that club and ball met. The orb leaped into the air, launched towards the heavens, a fire ball of energy and light.

I don't know how far the ball went, but it went longer than anything I have ever hit with a golf club. I was mesmerized as it arced into the setting sun, knowing I had just witnessed something pure and precious. "Carpe Diem!" I yelled as I watched it hit the earth and bounce, once, twice, thrice...before it rolled out of sight.

My senses returning to normal, I listened for the sound of the seductresses call, but heard nothing. I set another ball before me. Grip.... set..... swing...... and.... the dull thud of dirt and sod being ripped from the earth. The shock absorbed into my hands, arm and shoulder, the humility pounding on my brain as the divot flew up and then on the breeze, back to my face filling my mouth and eyes with the laughter of the gods.

Just as I closed the van door after stowing the clubs, I know I heard a snicker.

Jim never said anything like this was possible, but then, I do like weird stuff.

Thoughts about Teresa (here's the link again)

2007-08-26T21:27:00.000-06:00

My daughter wrote this: "I guess that's why the bible has that little "not by faith alone" caveat, huh?"

I am more impressed now with Teresa than ever. Her courage to continue the work during her "dark night of the soul" speaks volumes to me about so many things, not the least of which is tenacity.

What a bold woman!

Mother Teresa

2007-08-24T09:11:00.001-06:00

Here is a very thought provoking article about Mother Teresa.

It will surely spark lively debate about her, her life and the Christian Gospel Call.

Enjoy!

Being Lunch!

2007-08-12T22:13:00.000-06:00

This is the honest truth...i am not making it up, today I was stalked by a 400 pound Tiger!

I was just walking along enjoying the day with Pat, no kids, grand kids, just us for an afternoon of being together.....it was great.

Pat stopped to admire a flower bed and I walked on ahead. Out of the corner of my eye to the left I saw an orange and black creature laying in the grass. As I turned to look, I made eye contact with the beast, with her ears laid back she started to spit and hiss. She came to a crouch and started to move towards me, her great belly barely off the ground and I knew...I had just gone from the top of the food chain, and become prey..........

This can't be happening I thought and began to look for a way out, this feline scared me! Sweat trickled down my back and before I could move....she charged at me, her full mouth of two inch teeth exposed in a snarl of death. Six feet from me she launched herself into the air! Her roar caused a trickle of fluid in another part of my body, then.......she was stopped by a very strong fence.

I really was scared.........the trickling part, well let's just leave that a secret for now. Pat came running. She had seen some of my near death experience, and shouted COOL! , I hope she does it again! And right on cue the tiger did do it again. I jumped behind a fence as Pat stood there and smiled and laughed. I am a little ashamed I left the love of my life alone so I could be spared.

What a great day! Pat and I enjoyed some quality time, and I now know what a gazelle must feel like.

New Things

2007-08-07T21:44:00.000-06:00

i learned a new word.....Kerygma...listening to, reflecting upon and proclaiming the word of god. its centered-ness is the paschal mystery of jesus. richard rohr says that we are usually ready to proclaim that jesus lived, died and resurrected but that we don't want to follow........

i have a new friend........i hope my shyness didn't come across as stuffy. i really like this new friend.........

i have a new adventure, in fact my new word came from this adventure.

i have a new hair.........growing out of my ear, damn i hate that.

i have a new fear........but naming it would make it real

new things........ i like them mostly

Re-Member and The Faith Line

2007-07-27T16:04:00.000-06:00

Pat, two other adults, and a group of young people traveled this month to the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota for a week, here is the web-site for Re-Member the sponsoring agency. This is the 2nd year they have gone.

After reading this article from NPR by Naboo Patel (thanks Don), I think I will join them next year....it seems the least I can do.

Someone who doesn't make flowers makes thorns. If you're not building rooms where wisdom can be openly spoken, you're building a prison.Shams of Tabriz

October 9

2007-07-22T21:21:00.000-06:00

This daddy and little girl should be re-united on October 9. This is the firm date (as firm as the army ever is) that Adam will be home. Ellie Marie of course is a bit bigger!!!!!

Four Way Stops

2007-07-16T21:07:00.000-06:00

What can an intersection with four way stops reveal about the human condition? Sidney Nebraska has many four way stops, and after spending 20 years navigating the by-ways of my small town here is what has come to light in my mind.

Four ways stops are fairly innocuous in practical theory. If you get there first you get to go first, second goes next and so on. If you reach the stop at the same time then the car to the right gets to enter the intersection first. If you and another soul stop at the same time and are directly across from each other then that's called a double do, as both can go at the same time, unless one is turning right, the other turning left then the right turner has the implied right of way. Now if four cars reach the intersection at exactly the same time, this is called a perfect quadruple conundrum, and, well it's an amazing thing to see. It doesn't happen often but when it does, the universe is in balance for just a short moment.

So... here are some real life encounters I have had and what it might say about the driver and his/her personality or state of mind at the four way. These observations all happen when there are at least two cars approaching....(if you are the only one there then it's rather moot don't you think?)

The creeper......approaching the intersection you assume given the laws of physics that you will both stop at the same time. But in the last 12 feet before the stop the other driver suddenly slows to a crawl making sure you get there first. This person obviouslyknows the "get there first leave first" rule, but wants to give you the privilege. This driver is at peace with who they are as a motoring person. It's hard not to smile and wave as you go by.

The hot foot......the exact same scenario as previously stated except the the last 12 feet are done at approximately 60 mph, thereby reaching the stop first. This person also likes the first come first go rule, however they have reserved the right to have it their way. This driven soul has issues with how much of the American dream they are going to get and feel like they have to grab for all the gusto they can.

Screech and go......also them same set up as the creeper and the hot foot, except at 12 feet from the stop they slam on the brakes so hard the cars skids, smoke comes from the tires and then they floor it and fly into the intersection having fulfilled, in principal, the first to stop the first to go rule. This person might be called "legalistic" The letter of the law being satisfied then all is fair in love and war.

The shy flower......when these people stop their car, they look down and hope some one will decide to go first, the rules be damned! I have observed that these are many times teenagers who, living under the rule of the collective adult population are reluctant to make a decision that they can later be yelled at for.

The waver.......having the right of first movement is abdicated to other drivers with a simple toss of the hand. With this mortal you can see the thought processes working overtime trying desperately to remember the rules of the four way stop, and in doing so only becoming more confused and frustrated. So they too renounce motor vehicle rights in an effort to expunge one more god damned thing from their already painfully full cranium. Oft times these folks are parents of small children.

I have been all these people one time or another. Perhaps I will explore my four-way-stop inner being and make some grand discovery about myself.........nah, probably not.

Four way stops, what a hoot. Someday when I am old, wearing purple, and not driving anymore because my kids won't let me, I will sit at a four way stop and watch who goes by..........

Dougie, Jackie and Timmy

2007-07-06T11:09:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that I haven't blogged about my trip to Florida in March with Dougie and Timmy. We use the affectionate names when we talk, although Dougie says we are the only people who can get away with that.

We met in 1975 when we were all stationed in Naples Italy with the US Navy. Doug (in the shorts) was a parachute rigger, Tim an aviation hydraulics mechanic and yours truly a jet engine mechanic. We also coached Jr High football.

Doug and Tim are more than just friends, we are brothers. We have kept in touch the last 30 years by phone at least every Christmas. This year was the first year all three of us had been together in all that time.

I am always amazed how friends can pick up where they left off even after more than three decades. We assumed our usual roles and places in the trio.

Tim is ever steady and kind, Doug is a proud red-neck whose loyalty is the most intense in anyone I know, and then me.... both say I am the deep thinker with the really weird ideas. But still best of friends who over look the flaws and celebrate the love we have for each other.

So for 5 days in March, we were in our twenties again and we talked, fished, had a few toddies and enjoyed being in each others presence, what a gift to give each other.

We made a couple of decisions while together, first we will be present at each others funerals when the time comes, and we will not wait 30+ years to be together. Plans are to meet somewhere in 2009, or sooner. We drew lines on a map from our respective homes that made a triangle, in the center we looked and it seems we are going to meet some where in eastern Missouri next... I can't wait!

Some Wisdom

2007-07-05T14:51:00.000-06:00

"You can call Wakan Tanka by any name you like. IN English, call him God or the Great Spirit. He's the great Mystery, the Great Mysterious. That's what Wakan Tanka really means - the Great Mysterious. you can't define Him. He's not actually a "He" or a "She", a "Him" or a "Her". We have to use those kinds of words because you can't just say "It." God's never an "It." So call Wakan Tanka whatever you like. Just be sure to call Him. He wants to talk to you." Matthew King, a Lakota

"In our worship we don't have to ask God to be with us. What we have to do is make God feel welcome." The words of an anonymous Indian Elder

"The center of the Universe is everywhere." From Black Elk, Lakota Holy Man

"There are two wolves inside each one of us and they are always fighting one another. One is an evil wolf and one is a good wolf. The wolf who wins is the wolf we feed." A Cherokee saying

Thanks Patricia!

I Have To Rant!

2007-06-28T11:15:00.000-06:00

The War in Iraq and Afghanistan, hurting people, kids on the street, folks on death row, and on and on...........

and Paris Hilton is "traumatized" by 23 days in a cell. Give me a break!

There I said it, I must now atone for the sin of not loving completely a fellow human.

The collective intelligence of the Universe Loves Paris Hilton, and that is all I have for her right now.

2007-06-21T13:44:00.000-06:00

John was killed last week in Iraq. Headlines today tell us that 15 more soldiers have been killed in the last 3 days. Adams unit suffered two injuries last week…..and the beat goes on.

What to do…….I send President Bush, Senators Hagel and Nelson an e-mail most weeks, and I cry.

I don’t know what else to do. I am agitated confused, depressed and angry. The sense of loss I feel cannot be anywhere close to the measure of grief that families endure and so I cry for them.

Governor Heineman will be here for the funeral on Saturday. We pray that the Westboro Baptist Church is unaware or unable to picket. Many souls will fill the church, flags will be hung half-staff and the city will mourn, and all the while the carnage will continue, we should all continually cry, but we won’t.

The fact is, collectively as a nation, we are not focused on ending the war. Our politicians are worried about being re-elected. Seems that if you have the power to end the war, then your position should be damned and you should end it. Rhetoric is useless, words insufficient and policy politicized. And we, as the great mass of constituents, think our vote was enough.

This of course is not so much a condemnation of others as it is an examination of my own conscience. I will continue the e-mails and the tears, but I am sure it is not all I can do.

Good News!

2007-06-13T15:17:00.001-06:00

Shelly reports that the Commander of the 1074th Truck Company, Adams unit in Iraq, will be coming home in 100 days. As far as they know this is a firm date!

War, what is it good for? Absolutely Nothing!

Yea Julie!!

2007-05-24T13:44:00.000-06:00

Good friend Julie is in Mississippi this week on a Habitat 20 house blitz. This to help some of the folks who were devastated by Katrina.

Living conditions are rather spartan (here is a link to the camp web site) and at last report Julie is tired and sunburned but still building houses. What an Atticus!!! Thanks Julie!

Russell, Brother and Hero

2007-05-16T14:11:00.000-06:00

At a wedding this past week someone was teasing my brother about his age and asked him, “how did you get so old?” to which Russell replied, “oh, I just waited”.

Brother Russ has always had a quick wit and is known in the family as the funniest sibling. I suppose I rank 2nd, Margaret 3d and Helen 4th.

His biggest claim to fame is changing the words to songs as he sings them, making political, sexual and many times offbeat comments. I remember one time when he and I were sitting and singing 60’s songs and we were trying a rendition of “Baby, Baby Can’t You Hear My Heart Beat?” By Herman’s Hermits. When we got to the tag line Russ sang… Baby, Baby Can’t You Hear My Fart Squeak? I cannot listen or sing that song without laughing to this day.

Russ has always been a hero of mine. He is almost two years younger but for many years held the eldest brother spot. I followed him around because he was always doing the interesting and sometimes naughty stuff. He was first to leave home, to marry and to have kids.

I was most in awe of him for the way he defied dad. Our dad once called us both to him after some transgression so he could spank us, I walked dutifully to him and Russ ran the other way. Dad has yet to punish Russ for whatever it was.

Over the years I have been given back the eldest spot due to many twists and turns in our lives, and in many ways all of my siblings see me as the elder statesman. This has a lot to do with my involvement with the church. It’s not a place I am completely comfortable with but what do you do?

Anyway, I am still in awe of Russell and his zany take on everything, especially life. I love him deeply and glad we are from the same family.

Adam Promoted!

2007-05-08T10:48:00.000-06:00

Adam was promoted to the rank of Specialist. Congratulations and Be Safe!!!

Mom Was Right........again

2007-05-07T13:51:00.000-06:00

My mom always said this would happen if I did not
wash behind my ears...........(story here)

More then Half Way!!!!!!

2007-04-30T19:59:00.000-06:00

Barring an extension, Adam and his unit are more then half way through their Iraq deployment.

The commander, who has been really good about updating family members, says extension right now is unlikely, but it is the Army.

Adam reports that Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson made a stop to their unit today. His crew waited for 3 hours in 100 degrees so Nelson could have a 15 minute photo op.........There is no other way to put it...Bullshit!

There I said it and I am glad....be safe Adam!

That's No Clown, That's My Wife!

2007-04-26T08:37:00.000-06:00

This is Pat on the weekends. This was at a save the clowns rally. Thanks for finding the picture Shelly!

All Things Red White and Blue.

2007-04-20T08:48:00.000-06:00

For 6 days, US Flags are dipped to half staff in memory of those slain at Virginia Tech.

According to that formula, flags should be at half staff for approximately the next 600 days just for those killed in Iraq.

Violence

2007-04-18T20:12:00.000-06:00

Is it possible for the rose to say, "I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me, but I will withhold it from the bad?" Or is it possible for the lamp to say, "I will give my light to the good people in this room, but I will withhold it from the evil people"? Or can a tree say, "I'll give my shade to the good people who rest under me, but I will withhold it from the bad"? These are images of what love is about. Anthony de Mello, S.J. (1931—1987)

2007-04-06T10:26:00.000-06:00

Many years ago, my "birth"day was on Good Friday. I have shared this occasion on two other anniversaries, when I was 11 and when I was 22. I was under the impression that every 11 years this would happen, but was disappointed when the streak ended at age 33.

My life began on Good Friday, so it has been difficult for me to associate it with death......even that of Jesus. I have never kissed a cross and rarely make it to Good Friday Services. I find the violence associated with Jesus' death sad, mostly because if it hadn't been violent we probably wouldn't have been as impressed.

Another little secret I have is, I don't really like crucifixes. Perhaps it is the 19 years I spent in the protesting sect of Christianity, but the empty cross gives me more hope, more joy and more reason to celebrate...please don't tell the pope.

How then to celebrate Good Friday? A friend of mine put it this way "I hope you are having a beneficial Good Friday. It seems hard to say having a good Good Friday. Maybe a positive Good Friday or an awakening Good Friday." Thanks Don for your timely wisdom.

Positive Good Friday to all, and a Blessed Easter!!!!

Abraham, Rod and Judas

2007-03-16T12:18:00.000-06:00

During my Lenten meditation on the person and life of Judas Iscariot, I was struck with a notion that is close to my heart. Was Judas suffering from bi-polar affective disorder?

Over the years the description and name of what is now called bi-polar has changed. 30 years ago it was manic depression, 60 years ago it was grouped with melancholy and 2000 thousand years ago it was called, among other things, possession.

Judas certainly, in my mind anyway, displayed many of the traits of the disease.

Reckless spending (pilfering from the resources of the apostles)
Black and White thinking (money for oils was always extravagant)
Grandiose thoughts (knowing better than Jesus)
Remorse for decisions made.
And of course for Judas, suicide.

Some might call expunging Judas’ guilt because of a mental illness a “slippery slope” into heresy. But then most changes in theology are heretical in the beginning. I don’t believe abdicating personal responsibility is correct in all cases of mental illness. But there is a point where the malady has to be considered in the question of culpability. And in the case of suicide there is always grace afforded the victim, of this I am positive.

Most folks diagnosed with mental illnesses will eventually hear the litany of well-known sufferers of their particular form. In my case it usually includes, Abraham Lincoln, Patty Duke and Rod Steiger. This list is offered to show that there are those who we admire that have been afflicted, in hopes of boosting the lost self-esteem that brought us to a doctor or therapist, and to give hope.

In the future I will not add Judas to this list when I am comforting someone newly diagnosed. I am sure this would not help. However I will add Judas to my personal list. And in my heresy, I will elevate him “in pectorum” to the communion of saints.

My Language

2007-03-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Here is a very thought provoking video (link) from CNN.

She is......

2007-02-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

she moves like an angel and seven evening stars
she dances through the windows of her universal house…

She is everywhere, She is everything
Spirit, teach me to dance!

her voice a crystal echo, lies humming in your soul

so patiently awaiting for your ears to behold...

She sings the eternal song of love
Spirit, teach me to sing!

she ripples on the water, leaves diamonds on the shore
and fish from every distance watch her ocean cellar door...
She is, so I am
Spirit, teach me to be!

her breath can warm a fire in every lovers heart
a mistress to magicians and a dancer to the gods...
She is Eros
Spirit, teach me passion!

her clothes are made of rainbows and twenty thousand tears
that shine through the spaces of her golden ochre hair...
She is the cosmic suffering,
Spirit, teach me compassion!

o my babe I want you and all my life I swear
my conscience will follow you forever if you meet me everywhere

Come holy ghost, creator blessed, and in my heart take up thy rest…..

(italicized lyrics by cat stevens "angelesa"-1971)

Ash Wednesday

2007-02-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember I have hated waiting. So, as always, I enter the Lenten Journey with an impatient, uneasy feeling.

That aside, many of my favorite memories and life events come from the 6 weeks preceding Easter, and I might add my birthday.

I was born on Good Friday and Jennifer was born on Holy Thursday. Two very real life events I associate with Lent. Easter was also a time for our extended family to gather. More so than even Christmas. I remember the big table in the dining room stretched to it’s maximum length and filled to overflowing with food. It was pot-luck and everyone brought the dish they were most famous for. Aunt Marge brought the obligatory green jell-o with carrot shavings. Marge was not a great cook but certainly she was reliable.

This year I am thinking strongly about Lowell Hemken, Pastor of Mountain View Lutheran, my home church. And one of the Atticus’s that grace my life.

One memorable Lent, Pastor Hemken, instead of the usual Wednesday evening services staged 5 presentations of people from the Bible who were there during the Passion. He did it up with makeup and costumes and a few bit parts that he asked the youth group to help with. I got to be the voice of God chiding Peter about his fear of being associated with Jesus. I did rather well as I recall.

My favorite week was when he portrayed Judas and the decisions he made. It was the first time I saw Judas as a person. A person with real emotions and all the quirks and baggage that come with being a part of the human condition.

It was also the first time I heard from a trusted spiritual advisor that perhaps Judas was not condemned to the eternity of hell. That there were aspects of Judas’ thinking and acts that we are not, nor could we, be aware of. That he had all the powers of free will and forgiveness at his disposal. I was always troubled with Judas being a pawn. That he could have not done anything but what he did. I was afraid that I could be a pawn also. What a terrible thing to believe. I do not know exactly what I was taught, but that it what I heard.

What a great gift from Pastor Hemken to me. That the people in the bible were living, breathing, struggling humans….even Judas.

So My Lenten meditation this year will be on Judas. Branded the betrayer of Jesus. Vilified, hated and reviled. But perhaps Saint as well. Thank you Pastor Hemken.

Sad Update

2007-02-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

A young man of the 1074th Truck Company from the Sidney Detachment was killed in Baghdad on Sunday. The vehicle he was riding in was hit with a roadside bomb. He was from McCook Nebraska and was 20 years old.

Two other soldiers had minor injuries and are back with the unit.

Adam is ok.

American Idol

2007-01-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

The older I become the more there is to look back at. I struggle with whether or not looking back can be prophetic of the road ahead, however I suppose I would still be burning my fingers on the stove if it is at least not partly true. It is fun to take a look at the way I have come so far.

I also believe it is good for me to measure myself against truths and how well I practiced these on the journey. Have I been compassionate, kind and gentle? I have afforded others their birth rights or have I been a part of denying these? Seems that wisdom comes from these measuring sticks and can help in the upcoming and infinite encounters of the future.

Along with that there are some poor choices I have made in how I measure my life. My biggest mistake is comparing myself to other people. I have never once lived up to the expectations I imagined about another person. To continue the imagery, looking back at the path I have been on, these times of envy have been side trails to nowhere and then the trek back to the road.

So why this line of wool gathering tonight?

The new season of American Idol has been on TV for a couple of weeks now. I do not watch Idol but there has been much this year about the "less" talented of the aspiring entertainers. It seems that this is a major drawing point for the earlier episodes. It has been made news worthy I suppose because so many people are interested. Everyone is free to make an audition for the show, it is the use of some of these that bothers me. What does it say about us when we find the struggles of others entertaining?

Most times the defeated contestant is shown leaving the audition area in tears or angry, then being comforted by friends or families. Cable news programs have psychologists and other experts on to discuss why these folk take this ridicule and frustration. This points out the saddest fact in the fascination of American Idol to me.

Why do we allow ourselves to be disappointed and beaten down by an artificial measurement? What in us wants to be something we know we cannot be? The American dream has part of it's promise that we can be anything we want to be if we try hard enough. This poppy cock is part of our problem. The truth is we cannot.

More importantly though is our restlessness with who we are. I am most content with myself in those time when I know for certain that who I am is OK.

The beatitudes tell us that the poor in spirit are blessed. I have recently learned that being poor in spirit sometimes means knowing I am good because I am here, and that God has created me and sometimes that has to be enough. The human journey is not very long when measured with eternity, and striving for truth is always an inherent good, but sometimes it is good to rest and know that we are blessed as we are.

Carley and Anna

2007-01-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

Carley and Anna are two friends of mine who live in Colorado. In fact I am their Uncle Jack and proud to be. Their parents are Anne and Gary Hartwick. Anne is Pat' youngest sister. Carley and Anna are my teachers tonight and I am thankful for their Atticus-ness in my life. (I really like making up words!)

Anna and Carley are free-loving, compassionate and wise people. And I am honored to be included in their lives!

Jonathan and the Death of Saddam

2007-01-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Morris, a Roman Catholic Priest, writes weekly op-ed peices for FoxNews.com.

He had an interesting article this week about the execution of Saddam Hussein. (Link) And here is the link to a few of the responses to the article and his replies.

Atticus and 2007

2007-01-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

It is my belief that the collective intelligence of all the Atticus' in the world desire and demand an end to the war in Iraq.

It was wrong, is wrong and will continue to be wrong.

"When Jesus said love your enemies, I don't think he meant to kill them" from a button my daughter gave me for Christmas.

Ending all violence in the world is the ideal, Iraq would be a start towards that end.......

Christmas 2006

2006-12-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hello all!
Well the snow continues today in what the news has dubbed the blizzard of 2006 round two. Snow is falling today off and on hard at times, covering the 18" we received before Christmas. I think we will have a white Christmas 2007 if it doesn't stop soon.

Atticus in my life for the past several days has come in the person of Pat, or Patti as her sisters and brothers call her.

Pat's dad passed away on the 23rd of December. She was able to spend the last 24 hours of his life with him at the hospital.

Her wisdom and compassion always are a source of awe for me but in the days that followed Bob's death she was tested and overcame difficult situations with her usual grace-filled-ness.

What a treasure she is to me.

Happy and blessed New Year to you all!

Trash Talk

2006-12-10T21:13:00.000-07:00

Advent has some very tangible images for me this year.

Adam is in Iraq so we are waiting for him to return. The entire war is a source of anger and confusion.

As a family we are in a waiting period for the health of a beloved one, so extended family dynamics are a focal part of the mix.

I have been reunited with the 11th grade confirmation class at St Pat's and we are in the middle of the journey to their March 17th confirmation. This group of young people still amazes me in the things they know, do and say.

But the image that seems to have settled as the "thorn in my side" this Advent is garbage.

Pat and I attended the NFCYM convention in Las Vegas last week end. We had a great time and heard some very uplifting presentations and spent time re-creating with some very close friends.

At the closing mass Sunday in Las Vegas, I walked to the back of the convention center just as the Presentation of gifts started. In our church on Sundays if you enter the main doors you can see the bread, wine and water next to the baptismal font. So this image was in my mind as I walked to the back, and my eye was drawn to a large object that I assumed to be the gifts. They were in the correct spot and the time was right.

As I got closer however I noticed that what I was looking at was a large overflowing trash container. The refuse of three days of 2500 people being together.

I remembered some of what I had heard over the past few days and some of the sights and sounds of the city that I had encountered, and the image of garbage as an offering made some sense to me.

Garbage is part of who I am. My failings and flaws are some of the most defining facets of being human. We are encouraged to take everything to our relationship with God, and garbage is part of that equation. To give completely by it's definition means all of the good as well as the garbage.

I think I will take the idea of having garbage in the Presentation at Mass to the liturgy committee.....

perhaps I will send a letter some week when I am out of town....

Blessed Advent to you all!!!

English as a 2nd Language

2006-11-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

I learned what a semicolon is and what it is used for ; from a Paula Poundstone stand-up routine no less. At least I think I did. Separator of two statements that could be two separate sentences. A writing style choice used by folks who are tired of the period.

I was surprised to find that gibberish is spelled with a "g" and not "j".

I also noticed in the previous blog that I most likely used the word "casualty" incorrectly ; I should have used injuries I suppose.

Pat and I are headed for Las Vegas next week ; I am betting we will enjoy the trip.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

1074th Iraq Update

2006-11-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

Adams unit suffered casualties while on a mission last Friday. The unit, which provides security for supply convoys, got hit by a roadside bomb. One soldier had injuries to her hand that required surgery, and a few others had bumps and bruises. Everyone is fine and back to work. Adam was not part of the mission.

Please pray-----Less than 11 month to go.

Christmas!

2006-11-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

To early for Christmas? I think not! Like Jell-o, there's always room for Christmas. (wow, that's chessy, huh?)

The space between Thanksgiving & Christmas has always had a special place in my heart. I cherish the sounds, smells, people and memories in an intense and almost mystical way.

Christmas found Atticus, Scout and Jem visiting Uncle Jack. Scout found it funny that Atticus and his younger brother kissed each other for a greeting. Uncle Jack gave Jem his first rifle at Christmas and this is why Harper Lee had Atticus warn " it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." My Uncle Don gave my brother and I new silver dollars for Christmas. Dad and Don did not kiss, although I think it would have been cool if they had, then perhaps I would have been kissed more.

I remember my first Christmas alone. I was in the Communications office of VR-24, a US Navy transport squadron in Naples Italy in 1975. I was newly married and 6,000 miles from home working extra shifts so two shipmates could be with their families. It was the last time I had to spend Christmas without the lovely Pat woman....what an incredible blessing.

Christmas 1976 was the year we had Jennifer, and the first Christmas after my father died. I still cry when I hear "The Living Years", by Mike and the Mechanics. Jennifer teaches at the middle school in Scottsbuff Nebraska, her husband David teaches in the computer lab. Jen and David are two of the smartest people I know. Some day I might write about my beginnings with big David, I was not very Atticus like.

In 1978 Tim and Doug came to our house during the Christmas season, these two friends had spent Christmas with Pat and I in Sicily in 1977. 1977 was also the year Matthew was still-born in September. I still find myself day dreaming about the man he would be now. He touched Pat and I in a singularly special way.

Our first Christmas with Sarah was in 1979. We lived in a mobile home in Federal Heights Colorado. She was all of 2 months old. She now lives in Anchorage Alaska and is planning a trip next year to Japan.

Christmas of 1981 was spent in Wiggins Colorado. Stephanie Jean's first. One of Steph's greatest traits is her tenacity. Stephanie cannot be swayed from a path she chooses and she has overcome many trials just because she will not quit.

Christmas 1982 was a horrible blizzard that had us snowed in for 3 days. But not before Michelle and Pat came home from the hospital literally hours before the snow closed the roads between Wiggens and Ft. Morgan where Shelly had just been born. Christmas dinner with Pat's sisters and brothers was to be at our house, but the snow was three feet deep and no one could make it. So we divided our time consoling grandma Beisheim, who had come three days early, and getting to know Michelle. Shelly's husband Adam is now in Iraq with the US Army, Christmas this year will have a hole in it, hopefully next year it will be filled again.

The first Christmas as grandparents was special because it meant little David was in our family. The Christmas art work is courtesy of him. He is a wonderfully unique boy who always keeps us on our toes and who makes us laugh, we dearly love our "d".

The year we bought bikes for all the girls, the year when our porch was covered with gifts from anonymous people who knew we were struggling, the first year a daughter was with her husbands family. On and on I could go....but then I love Christmas.

The space between Thanksgiving & Christmas has always had a special place in my heart. I cherish the sounds, smells, people and memories in an intense and almost mystical way. So even though Wal-Mart and JC Penny have already beaten me to the punch, let me wish you all "Merry Christmas!"

Mid Term Elections 2006

2006-11-08T18:13:00.000-07:00

Finally they are over and the phone calls have stopped and for the first time in 3 weeks there was no campaign literature in the mail-box.

I am mildly surprised by the results, I didn't think there were enough votes for the democrats to take the house and possibly the Senate.

Here's a few thoughts about the election.

Jennie---Mea Culpa, I am sorry I voted for Bush 6 years ago, now leave me alone!

Don---Congratulations!!!

Democratic Congress---Don't waste the opportunity.

Mr. Bush---Make your Lame-duckiness count for something!

Thanks to all who reclaimed their souls that they sold to the EXTREME religious right.

New Congress Resolution from me:

I resolve to be a better voter by researching more and
listening to sound bites less, even if that means not
believing everything Keith Olberman says.

Still True

2006-11-04T23:05:00.000-07:00

Here is John Denver from 1982 posted on YouTube. It was was one of my favorites . It's still touches me today. When will we learn?

WTF?

2006-10-25T09:18:00.000-06:00

President Bush and the Congress of the USA suspended the need for Habeas Corpus because we are fighting terrorists and not a country, so the Geneva Convention does not apply. This was needed to protect the country as well as help us win the war in Iraq. [sic]

I am curious, if we are fighting terrorists and not a country, who the hell is going to surrender when we win the war?

The Kite Runner

2006-10-12T16:26:00.000-06:00

I am finally finishing a book my daughter and her husband got me for Christmas (Thanks Jen and Dave). The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, is an excellent novel that I highly recommend.
Here is a link to Hosseini's Websight.

Adam

2006-10-09T16:07:00.000-06:00

Army National Guard Soldiers from Central and Western Nebraska arrived in Kuwait today, Adam among them...I always hated this war, now I hate it more..................

Rest in Peace Rog!!

2006-10-02T15:59:00.000-06:00

Here is a link to Rogers Obit in the Rocky Mountain News.

Mountain Lion In Scottsbluff Nebraska

2006-10-02T13:18:00.000-06:00

A mountain lion that had wandered into Scottsbluff Monday morning was shot and killed by Game and Parks Supervisor Jim Zimmerman. The animal was shot with a twelve gauge shotgun while it was hiding behind concrete pillars in brush on the west side of the National Guard Armory, just a block and a half from Scottsbluff High School and a half block from a day care center.Here's the Full Story

Whew!!!!!!!

2006-09-19T11:49:00.000-06:00

I guess I got it fixed.......(see blog below)

OH NO!!!!!!!

2006-09-19T11:44:00.000-06:00

I did something wrong and my blog seems to have disappeared.

Poop, hope I can find it again

I Love Fr Roger Mollison

2006-09-18T20:07:00.000-06:00

Fr Roger Mollison Died on September 15, in Denver Colorado. His funeral mass will be on Wednesday, the 20th. Roger had been in a nursing facility for the past 8 or ten years after undergoing brain surgery. As near as I can figure Rog was 69 years old. He was a priest for 42.

I love Roger Mollison. He is the real presence of Jesus for me as well as an extraordinary "Atticus" in my life.

Roger is the founder of Jesus Our Hope Hematige a place to retreat and to re-create.

When Pat and I were married Roger witnessed for the Church.

Roger gave everything he owned to the poor, including us.

His parish bought him new furniture for Christmas...he gave it away before the end of January.

A bird pooped on his head at a cemetery..."a gift is a gift" he said.

He gave communion to a Jewish kid because, "he came".

He Blessed 30 cars at a youth gathering and all had accidents. We kidded him about it unmercifully but he asked "was any body hurt or killed?" the answer was no.

He believed in miracles

He made my father comfortable at mass.

He adopted his nephew because his sister couldn't care for him.

Signed his name, Roger Mollison, Priest of Jesus.

He was the first man to kiss me on the cheek

Grew a beard because it gave him 4-5 more minutes time in morning meditation.

Passionately loved his vocation

I love Fr. Roger Mollison

Eternal Rest grant to Roger, may the perpetual light shine on him, and give him peace.
Amen!

THIS HOLE IN THE GROUND

2006-09-15T19:25:00.000-06:00

Tonight Keith Olberman, host of "Countdown" on MSNBC, repeated an op-ed piece he did from the sight of the World Trade Center Bombing on the 5th anniversary of the attacks. THIS HOLE IN THE GROUND"
I purposely watched nothing having to do with the September attacks on the 11th as I am tired of the spin and the political-ness that surrounds most things "9-11", but I am very glad for the re-run. Olberman said things that struck a chord with me, and "put words" to many of the frustrations I have with the current administration. It is a good read, but the video is better because of his passion.

I am tired of being lectured on what it means to be patriotic, told that my dissent is not welcome or "in the best interest" of the country. On top of that we have been chastised because we think the Geneva Convention shouldn't be revised to fit a political profile, I shudder to think what we will learn in the coming weeks about the torture of those in US custody after they have met and talked with the International Red Cross

I am going to be very crass here and suggest that torture, lies and manipulating laws to expunge guilt, when weighed against oral sex , certainly rises to the legal obligations of impeachment.

If in future generation's the beginning of the 21st century is viewed as a time when we threw away our sensibilities, compassion and morality.....then the terrorists indeed have won.

R and R

2006-09-01T11:21:00.000-06:00

Pat and I are off this afternoon to South Dakota for some re-creating time.

First on our list is The Crazy Horse Memorial tomorrow. After the that we are going to let the wind and our whim decide!

Have a good Labor Day!

Girls

2006-08-25T19:43:00.000-06:00

Pat and I have been visited this week by two young ladies. Becky and Bernie are the children of Pat's cousin and his wife. They are vacationing in Alaska this week.

Having children in the house again after a few years of an empty nest has been fun as well as tiring. The energy level of the house has been many times higher than it has for a while. I must admit here that the lovely Patricia has been far more involved then have I. She took days off work to be with the kids and they have been running pretty much non-stop.

Having Rebecca and Bernadette in the house has me remembering the days when our 4 girls were still at home. Seems like a million years ago, and there is a certain degree of melancholy.

There are many things I miss about those times, here are a few:

The sweet smell of shampoo when a kid hugs you good night after a shower.
The excitement of catching the first fish.
The surprise in her face when she finds you have let go of the bike and she is on her own.
First Communion parties
Being called daddy
Macaroni Pictures
Being in the delivery room and all of a sudden there is one more person.
Being told how to dress for chaperone duty at school dances
Fixing pains with a kiss
Having my hair put in braids. ( no laughing here)
Sneaking food to a stray cat after Pat said no.
Reading stories out loud.
Listening to stories out loud.
Being thought of as someone who knows almost everything.
Giggles..............

There are many more, and fortunately few regrets save one, that the lovely Patricia was more involved than I.

This is one of my favorite pictures of the little girls who lived in our house. Aren't they cute?

Forward to the Past

2006-08-21T21:15:00.000-06:00

When I was a kid, we would go to Woolworths and browse the records for favorite songs. You could buy 45's for 15 cents if I recall. 45 refers to the speed you played the record at. 45's had a song on each side and had a big hole in the center. You had to use the adapter on the phonograph to play them, or there were plastic inserts that allowed the use of the LP spindle.

The great thing about 45's was that you didn't have to spend the money on an album when you only wanted the one song.

My daughter has drug me farther into the 21st century by telling me about itunes (link). This is the Woolworths of cyberspace, a place to buy just the song you want. Granted the price is a little higher (99 cents), but I'll bet that after adjusting for inflation and the cost of crude, plus dividing by the current prime rate, and adding your age it's about the same.

I am enjoying on my computer right now a live recording of Bobby Darin's "Mack the Knife" and the next in line will be the Charlie Daniels Band and "Uneasy Rider" Carley Simon, Cheryl Crowe, Jack Johnson and many more are now digitally trapped into my electronic record storage cabinet. I even got 3 free songs from Safeway because I bought 2 California Peaches. Woolworths never did that!

I love being able to burn a CD of my favorite songs, although my daughter says that's old hat now and I should get an iPod that holds 3 million songs. I think that's what she said. Could be I stretch the truth a tad.

Any way I am at least up to 2001 in my technology, who knows by 2012 I will buy and iPod!

August 15: Assumption of Mary

2006-08-14T20:49:00.000-06:00

Today I have been thinking about mothers.

Here is a conclusion I reached this evening:

Almost everything I have learned about good mothering I learned from Pat.

Kenny

2006-08-07T19:36:00.000-06:00

As I sat at my desk today complaining and generally whining about my lot in life; it's Monday, my computer has problems, the last customer on the phone was an ass, Kenny walks in singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning!"

Kenny is one of my hero's and a true "Atticus".

Kenny works part-time with me and at Wal-Mart full time. He retired from the Post Office about 4 years ago as the Post Master of our town. He started having trouble with falling down and passing out. After many, many tests he was diagnosed with a condition that has a name of 72 letters (i might exaggerate some) that I cannot pronounce. The gist of it is, the opening in his skull that allows the spinal cord access to the brain is to large and his brain is "slumping". This, as you might imagine, is cause for many malady's. The afore mentioned symptoms and terrible head-aches that required trips to the hospital for morphine once or twice a week.

Kenny had a repair done 3 years ago that involved a mesh hammock to support the brain. This seemed to help for about 6 months then the troubles returned. So 4 weeks ago, more brain surgery, this time a metal bar placed across the opening to keep his grey matter in place. Then a week ago he had a shunt put in that drains fluid from his brain to his abdomen to decrease pressure.

All this and the man keeps smiling and moving forward. Always positive always ready to help.

Kenny is coming back to work on Wednesday and I am glad.

A Respite

2006-08-04T22:13:00.000-06:00

Hezbollah,
Israel,
Iraq,
War,
Gas Prices,
Work.

These are the hot spots on my heels that will soon turn to blisters if I continue to fret and worry.

So, as happens with the collective intelligence of the universe, a respite in the form of an 11 year old boy called tonight and wanted to spend some time with grandma and grandpa. So tomorrow morning I will head up the road to fetch and bring him back for the weekend.

What a cool thing to have a grandkid call and ask to spend time with you. Atticus's come in all shapes and sizes.

So all the crap will have to wait, David wants me to come out and play!!!!!!!